Relax??

I realized today that Cayden will be four months old tomorrow and I never took his 3 month pictures! I have heard it from many moms that the more kids you have the less pictures you will take...well I told myself that I wouldn't do that...I would continue scrapbooking, photo taking, and I even started this blog so that I would not "forget" our memories of even the little things. I think that because of Cayden's heart condition I have forgotten to relax and enjoy him. As I just typed that it breaks my heart...it is very hard to admit it to myself and to all who will read this...but it is true. I am so focused on his color, breathing, medications, tempermant that I am not enjoying the "babyness" I don't feel like I am neglecting him or Chase or Cooper...I have my special time with each of my boys everyday but my time with Cayden is full of analysis...making sure he is okay. So, I am starting tomorrow on his 4 month birthday to one take some pictures and get back on track to documenting his growth for memory sake not medical! I also am going to try to relax with him just a bit...I do not want to look back and all I remember is heart problems...especially since this will eventually be taken care of and he is doing well today. I am handing it over to God and enjoying the beautiful family He has blessed me with and will continue each day trying to be the women He has created me to be.